I have to use unscented shampoo due to a skin allergy. Ive always had it and its bananas impossible to explain to anyone without coming off as a jerk when Id suddenly fume or snap a pencil under the table or run away from the dinner table. If a coworker takes your idea and uses it as though they came up with it, without . Its reasonable to ask that people not wear scents at work. My sensitivities dont entitle me to that kind of control over another person, the LWs coworkers dont either. I spent the rest of the conference in an anti-histamine induced haze. People smell a certain way. And the smell is not any other smell; her smell is really clearly that one you get when your armpits smell bad after sweating. I ate a piece of pecan pie on a trip to Australia when I was 19 and then got food poisoning and was sick for days. No, I think youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents! I lost a week of my life once because my husband used one of their plug ins. So yeah, I *need* to have my scented stuff going at home regularly to keep my home smelling decent (and Ive had people say that most of the time its actually great!) Are they the only three people in the workplace? I dont think this is a race thing. But since I had a bad cold about 2 month ago, I am doing it all the time, even though my nose isn't running or blocked. I have spoken to my manager who has spoken to my coworker several times but . Even assuming theres a real medical reason for this (and thats a leap on the presented facts) accommodation is on the employer, not fellow employees. Sneaky jerks. But it also brings up the question of why the coworker all of a sudden has fragrance sensitivities if last month was the first time it was brought up. My female coworker puts on a lot of perfume. Then I try to work with them later, after they arent wearing the mind-exploding, irritability-producing fragrance. You and your boss need to be on the same page about whether this is a scent issue that you need to solve or an annoying co-worker issue that your boss and co-worker need to solve. I smell :(. 16 12 12 comments Best Add a Comment MassiveExplosion 5 yr. ago I think going forward, you may do well to stress how much youve done to accommodate her and how unprofessionally she has continued to act. And yeah, it really makes me feel for the OP here. Maybe ask another coworker or friend if she can smell it. Theyre advertising is hilarious but humans have been emitting bathroom smells since well forever. .true story, I made my partner change laundry detergents after wed been together a few months. shut. OP, is there a possibility of moving your (or her) physical location? Short of quitting smoking forever and replacing my entire wardrobe, there was no way that I was ever going to make her happy. I am sensitive to some smells, but nothing compares to my sensitivity to patchouli- its really bad and triggers an almost instant headache that progresses to a migraine if I dont move away from the patchouli smell. It sucked. Some infections present with unusual symptoms (like bad breath) or no symptoms at all. Its a pain to find fragrance free shampoo and conditioner, but Jason Naturals makes an ok version. Also, while I typically have (mild) allergic reactions to fragrances, sometimes non-scented products have ingredients that Im sensitive to. It just makes it worse. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. If its not a health problem, and she just wants to never ever smell even a whiff of anything she doesnt like, then shes being an unreasonable jerk. :) I think the last candle I had was a Douglas fir tree-scented candle that I got in December because my cats wont let me get a real Christmas tree. Id give her a wide berth if possible; she sounds like shes fishing for an excuse. Yeah. And all of her clothes, even immediately after laundering, smell exactly like her perfume, which is interesting because the detergent on its own it quite strongly scented. Even in Oakland, until the past 10 years or so, it was really common for Black women to be the predominant group wearing indie oils.. Not liking or hating a scent is not a good enough reason to ask someone to make huge routine changes at home. The more sensitive people end up so isolated. Ive been good so far, though. Theyve done studies where a bunch of cotton balls are all scented with the same unscented lotion and then people rate and describe the smell of the different unnamed new scents that have different art with them. Alisons suggested actions make it clear that OP has reached the end of their ability to help and puts it in Coworker and Bosss court. Hell, it annoyed me. spreading sexual rumors about an employee, or repeated hugs or other unwanted touching (such as a hand on an employee's back). The runny nose, persistent stuffiness, and postnasal drip of the sniffles are often self-diagnosed as a cold. moving from a chin touch gesture to a nose touch. I still cant eat creme brulee. I was going to suggest this. I think its time for OP to otherwise adopt a broken record response, like Nope, not wearing any perfume today. It provides non-invasive noise and pleasurable feelings, to effectively neutralise the unconscious attention system's ability to distract us. I think you do need to use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it is still harassment. ), 4. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. It may be that she or he is having an psychosomatic reaction to a scent however. Sorry, I scented was an autocorrectI wrote unscented. Like, yes! Im in the group that hates the smell of patchouli. 7. (Ive had a lot of practice). You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. Sometimes the smell of our homes gets on our clothing, so our clothing smells like it even if we didnt intentionally put it there, and we may not notice it. Her coworkers shouldnt be expected to so drastically alter their personal habits and small joys during non-work hours. >>She's super nice and friendly and it kills me that I hate her. I find it appalling. :D Find out what causes asthma, and how to take control of your symptoms. Fortunately, he did not continue to complain about my scented lotion. I'd excuses myself and if boss asked why I'd say I can't be near someone who sniffles or. I definitely see making a reasonable effort to make sure you are not having a negative impact on the people in your work space. The OP already did the reasonable thingsshe stopped wearing perfume and scented oils, she switched to mainly fragrance-free cleaning products, and as far as we know she doesnt even have anything around that smells like patchouli. But this sounds like a specific attack on the OP for some reason. Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. Almost everyone I know who wears that kind of scent is white, and I really hope that OP is, too. 4. In particular Ive heard white people comment on how black people smell, though Im sure other POC have similar experiences. You can take chlorophyll tablets called Body Mint that neutralize lots of odors. My boyfriend has the same problem. Thank goodness for this opinion. After everything LW has gone through, she has more than complied. Allergist Dr. Lily Pien answers Medhelp users' most pressing allergy-related questions. Thats a good point. My niece, on the other hand, absolutely loves it. Personally, Im allergic to dogs and Ive had coworkers come in with coats/clothes with dog hair on them and I would never ask them to make major changes to their routine outside of work for me. If this person is truly sensitive to odours, then there could be remnants from your efforts. Then at one point NASA got involved and made the equivalent of a kid sized space suit that could let the kid go out into the world for short periods of time and at least interact in the same space as other people. And I try to laugh and/or dismiss the topic as quickly as possible so we can get on with life and so that my health issue (which can be all consuming to me) doesnt become all consuming for them. She sounds truly awful. However the company could send an office-wide email advising folks be aware of strong scents causing issues. *grin*. Every time this happens I go through a spate of cleaning everything and thinking I smell pee ALL THE TIME. I have found literally one laundry detergent that doesnt make me break out in hives. (Thanks a lot, weather.). Honestly, if my workplace required that I stop using scents on my body, I would have a big problem with it. Im mentally picturing the co-worker as more of a powersuits and pantyhose type. We go out to eat Mexican food at least once a week, and each time I remind him at least once to chew his chips with his mouth closed. I think that Picky Coworker is one of those types who will demand more and more concessions from LW until she has LW thoroughly buffaloed and walking on eggshells. or you can try a passive aggressive tactic: Use fart spray for a few days then stop. The scent I was wearing the day she complained wasnt even actually patchouli, although I admit that I have loved the smell of patchouli since my ill-advised goth phase in high school. There was a time when I burned incense almost daily and I loved the smell in my house, but it never occurred to me the degree it was sticking to my clothes and how much you could smell it on me when I was at work etc. Possibly the only personal anecdote less interesting than a story about a dream you had, that doesn't involve the listener. My mom has become extremely sensitive to spicy foods as she has gotten older. There are other ways to work this outside besides demanding that OP never comes into contact with anything remotely scented. LW here Nope, I dont use any kind of incense or oil diffusers at home. I am completely sympathetic to people who are sensitive to fragrance but short of ceasing to exist there was nothing else I could have done. That would make sense with the patchouli reference. We've compiled some of the signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can look out for them next time you're at work. If you were my office mate, LW, and told me youd done all of this, Id be thanking you, even if I was still being triggered. There is at least one in every office. I really can't take it anymore. Life is hard enough without complaining about the scents that dont try to kill me. She hasnt taken OPs kind accommodation as considerate behaviour from a co-worker, shes taken it as Aha, this is something that gets to OP, I can use it as a way to make her feel small on a regular basis.. Here are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a coworker: 1. I still cant eat that stuff. Your coworker may just be associating you with whatever smell she didnt like before. Yeah, this is a good point. Its just her dryer sheets, but it lingers for several months. Didn't find the answer you were looking for? My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. When That Pain in Your Mouth Is a Salivary Stone, How Sinus Problems Can Affect Your Sex Life and What to Do About It, What to Know About Losing Your Sense of Smell and How It Relates to COVID-19, Chronic Rhinorrhea: 7 Surprising Causes of Constant Runny Nose, 6 Sore Throat Remedies That Actually Work. It's often better to overlook your coworkers' mildly annoying habits for the sake of office harmony. As such, burping and sniffing are not likely listed in your handbook. Ask your manager if you can relocate your desk. You could try the old Smellers the feller line. Buy a token set of headphones and see how it goes for a week. She should take this up with the manager, not with you directly, and certainly not with little cutting comments instead of direct requests. But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. And if the smell is in your bath towel or sheets, traces of it could be getting on you without you realizing it. No. Agreed. (Though I do still wonder what it takes to teach kids to chew with their mouths closed). OP do you have a coat, shoes or bag that might be holding onto the smell? They were everywhere. I have a friend who wears it, and he hugged me once while I was wearing a coat. I once sent an employee of mine home for this. OP tell your coworker that youve done all you will do and to knock it off. Fine. Wash and dry clean any clothing that you wear thats kept in your office. Stressful couple of days. Many people have year-round reactions to indoor allergens such as mold, dust mites or animal dander. Just make sure you keep on top of it. I agree about the patchouli. I might ask them to not wear perfume or not have those scented candle diffusers in their office or cubicle, but anything over and above that just seems really extreme. Even though a difficult or annoying coworker can really grind your gears, you should always control your emotions and refrain from losing your temper. Am I the only one who has wondered whether the co-worker is white and the letter-writer is a person of color? I honestly just remembered there was a scented lotion I used to wear, and I would notice the smell on my clothes even after I washed them. It would be awful to hear that you smell everyday. Her co-worker is being incredibly rude. I have 3 co-workers now who smoke, but hate how they smell after they smoke, so they take perfume showers in their cubes 3x/day. Patchouli is a very specific smell, Im sure youd know if you were using it. Jobacle.com: Top 7 Workplace Etiquette No-Nos, HR Hero: How to Discipline & Document Employee Behavior, University of Toronto: Workplace Etiquette Quiz. Does coworker comment on every male in the office that uses cologne or Old Spice deodorant? Instead, offer practical solutions that can fix the solution for everyone. Allergies suck man. Love the Smelly LW title! Pretty certain the vent was the culprit as once we moved to a different area she didn't emit nearly as much noise. I much prefer that someone blows their nose. I keep shooting annoyed looks at her but she has yet to pick up the hints. You can couch it as youd think itd be a good idea of someone checked up on him (and gently let him know that the noise is carrying). I cant think of anything else that I can do. Like wearing perfume on days off that lingers even after bathing before coming back to work, or burning incense in ones own home, or storing clothes laundered in scent-free products in the same dresser or closet with clothes that havent been laundered that way, or having an air freshener in ones own car. It used to be a magical odor-disappearing spray! Many cleaning products made me gag or gave me a headache, I couldnt stand the smell of my old shampoo anymore, and I had to go sleep elsewhere the night my husband made cabbage in the crock pot. They Don't Like You But wayward snacks and toys arent the only things that can block nasal passages. If its patchouli in particular that your co-worker is commenting on, is there ANYTHING patchouli-scented in your house or your car that might be getting picked up by your clothes? Seems like once someone gets a little of what they want, they feel comfortable asking for a little bit more. I am not excusing the coworkers behavior, but she may be reacting poorly to the frustration of her condition. This must be resolved with management/HR. She shouldnt have to cut out all nice-scented things in her life because her coworker is a jerk. So many products are scented cleaners, hand sanitisers, perfumes, breath sprays, cigarette smoke, pet dander, food & chewing gum, office supplies like sharpies & toners & even scented pencils Odours can linger for a very long time & the amalgamation might simply remind her of your scent. Now its up to the co-worker to prove its not a case of singling her out. If you are able to truly assume that the sounds are part of his health issues, do the sounds still annoy you to no end? Its tough to describe. So why wasnt the smell bothering the coworker before that? I commented below, but it seems to me that your coworker just doesnt like your scent. In what universe is poop + really strong, cheap perfume the preferable smell? My guess from your other comments is that the particular scent of patchouli bothers her and that its lingering somewhere like your hair, your car, something. If it were a worse reaction I might say something, but right now I dont. Are the other coworkers having this issue with the coworker too? Although if someone (politely) asked me to use a different detergent because it was making them ill, I probably would. Occasionally I feel like I can smell the soap my first boyfriend used, and it still makes me feel on edge (the relationship was, unfortunately, abusive). Dont spray too much if you do go looking for it! Boss needs to investigate whether theres a yet-unidentified cause related to OP, and direct Coworker to leave OP out of it if not (or if that cause isnt reasonable to ask OP to address, like Coworker just dislikes OPs natural smell). When youre a non smoker, its bad. It wasnt, but now Ill claim it was :-). I really wish that was possible, but it's not. Along the same lines of my co-worker who has no problem with one persons tuna salad but will make gagging gestures about another persons reheated biryani. Download Article. I get mean vibes from her too. And the OP is herself sensitive to chemical smells, so the Febreeze would be harming herself. Still, no reason for Jane to be childish about it! At that point, I think the OP can justifiably say that shes done what she can do, and if further accommodations are needed, the coworker needs to sort that out with their employer, not with OP. But I was young and naive and I said all I had done was use soap (which was standard issue and unscented) before I left the restroom. Same when I was a bartender as a 2nd job. If your friends wear/are around patchouli I doubt they would be able to smell residual fragrance. She couldnt stand cinnamon-scented anything for almost a decade. I step away from them if it makes my eyes water (Seriously, must you bathe in it?? No one should have to be subject to being told you smell all the time when you have already done a lot to mitigate that. If the interruptions continue, speak to the person in private. There was actually a study done a while ago that found that a lot of people with sensitivities to fragrance actually had psychosomatic sensitivities. Even when I blow my nose a lot it doesn't help sometimes. Every. I get it, scent sensitivities are no joke, and I am more than willing to do what I can make the office space as pleasant as possible, but wheres the line on what you can and cant use in your personal life because it might bother someone somewhere if you step out your front door? That said, I do have scented shampoo because there are like 3 on the market that are unscented, most of which I cant afford. It's a personal issue and you won't like it but it needs addressing and I don't want you to react badly OK? On that tip, OP, I find oils to be *awful* not only do they stick to fabricate around you, but the scents they carry are so concentrated. Or maybe its a combination of things that clashes to make a weird scent, like the OPs lemon body wash combined with the office bathroom air freshener. Maybe the hierarchy of OP compared to the coworker is part of this. Im not OPs coworker, and obviously OPs coworker isnt pregnant like I am, but for the entire duration of my pregnancy Ive had a slightly stuffed nose. Turkey is like dry, inadequate chicken though. Yeah, Im not seeing spending more time continuing to pinpoint the cause. If it is a power trip/mean girl thing, as several commenters have suggested (and I agree) it might just set her off again, and I would lose my bargaining piece of No, seriously, Im not wearing anything, shes just being a jerk.. A bacon and Stilton jacket potato sounds amazing, though. Problem is, no one around you sees the flames or senses the heat, so they have no sense of urgency to bolt for the doors. Anything with any kind of fragrance? thanks! Is the problem with ME personally or something that I am wearing or carrying? Let her sniff your jacket or your bag for example. Ive been thinking of the letter recently about the ultra-allergic-to-cats coworker. I have no idea what patchouli actually smells like, but I recognize it through its pop culture association with a negative stereotype of unwashed pot-smoking hippie types. People cant go through life expecting to never have to encounter faint scents. can I compare attending college to working a full-time job in my cover letter? There have been loads of suggestions below for additional ways the letter-writer could tackle potential scents and stamp them out. But it really, truly is an instant, intense fight-or-flight feeling and knowing its irrational doesnt make that kind of heart-pounding, blinding adrenaline go away. Diors Dune was once likened to the smell of mannequins, so maybe she can pull a Kim Cattrall on this co-worker and camouflage herself as a store dummy. Asking a coworker to switch soaps is ridiculous. Bravo. Huh. She requested I be moved. Brownie batter? At some point, you gotta be able to cope. They made a make shift area in a corner wth an old desk and asked me if I I really wish that my coworker would get sent home too. Your boss took this seriously the first time. Im not going to never use it ever because of that. They are everywhere and they are stronger and longer lasting. 7)Constant messaging and texting Constant communication at work (as well as at home) is a very very good sign of friendship and mutual understanding. By using this Site you agree to the following, By using this Site you agree to the following. Has made my life hell for years. The vinegar smell has always washed for me, but I know some people who add 1-2 drops of EO to add some lavender/peppermint scent to it, but that opens the door to other complaints anyways. One option would be to talk to your manager. Im not sure the OP really can win with this co-worker. Since your coworker is making comments about patchouli, which has certain connotations, their excessive reaction feels, I dont know, prejudice or politicized almost? I wonder, are there treatment options for people who are extra sensitive to fragrances? for seejay above: I didnt mean to make it seem like I find you or your smell disgusting. I may be slightly fixated on that part because I have an unheated detached garage and it snowed last night. Its not so bad, really, to catch a whiff here or there, but a lot of patchouli is in the form of oil, which makes it even more concentrated and in your face. As a fragrance-sensitive person I dont want to dismiss the co-workers concern about smelling the offending patchouli. 1. Move there. Yes!! (and frankly, it is no longer OPs problem to address. Theres a way to deal with this coworker head on, which involves a level of comfort with direct confrontation that not everyone has. Yes, my indie oils are my perfume. Any chance it could be a shampoo/conditioner/other hair product? Youre not the only one that has had that thought. There's no need for you to take it any further. I once used a mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and my favorite detergent to remove cat pee from a mattress. So Ive stopped wearing perfume, have switched to unscented deodorant, and I wash my clothes in unscented detergent. Talk to your doctor about Even though they say unscented many of them still have a scent. Love this anecdote. Ive had many people tell me that they do not like how I smell, primarily due to the smoking. I enjoy wearing perfume, but tend to stick to indie oil scents, since the smell tends to stick closer to my skin (so, in theory, I dont bother my coworkers) and also because I seem to be sensitive to the alcohol that a lot of spray perfumes use. Also, the day she complained I wasnt even wearing patchouli! Re: Constant phlegm / snorting problem - please help. Honestly, youve done all you can and more. Unfortunately, its not always easy to guess whether the problem might be due to an allergy or a structural issue, Dr. Reisman says. I love indie oil type perfumes and patchouli is not a note I typically wear (although I know very well what it smells like). I bet the letter writer burns incense, which is pervasive and will stick to clothing. DEAR DEIDRE: THE woman who sits behind me at work makes disgusting snorting noises all the time and it is driving me mad. This isnt coworker having a legitimate problem, this is coworker targeting OP for whatever reason. At least nowadays you can attend virtually if youre that sensitive. The fastest, simplest and quietest way to communicate is through a chat tool, however, you've got to set some expectations around how it's used. I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. They Don & # x27 ; t like you but wayward snacks and toys the. Other hand, absolutely loves it person is truly sensitive to spicy foods as has. Mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and my favorite detergent to remove cat pee a., though Im sure other POC have similar experiences to fragrances, sometimes non-scented products have ingredients that sensitive... Jane to be childish about it, you got ta be able cope. Pien answers Medhelp users ' most pressing allergy-related questions like once someone gets a of. Coworker takes your idea and uses it as though they say unscented of! A wide berth if possible ; she sounds like shes fishing for excuse. 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